Age of the Geek, Baby (lorax) wrote,
Age of the Geek, Baby
lorax

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Meme, and Stuff

Heh. The fanfiction.net meme that's going around amuses me, so I did it too. However, "Sullen Siren" isn't going to bring up anything, and "Siren" is going to bring up absurd amounts of results. So I'll use my actual name and see if that gets anything.


1. Use fanfiction.net's Search >> Story By Summary and look up your name in either Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings.

2. If there are any Mary Sues that share your name, pick the worst-sounding one and post the summary.


Harry Potter:
"Adena and Dante have been "friends" since Kindergarden and Dante has always loved Adena for as long as he can remember but she doesn't know..yet....Adena and her friends go on an adventure or two(including Dante) and their group of friends are all on the G"
Hee . . . . I like how it cuts off on "G" - way to leave us wanting more!

Awww. That's all there is. Come on, doesn't someone want to write a mad Mary Sue tale of lust and chaos about Adena/Remus? Or Adena/Fred/George? You know you want to. ;)




After posting a few stories up to my archives, I got to thinking. There are laws governing fanfiction. They aren't written, they aren't spoken of. Well actually they ARE spoken of, but this will not prevent me from discussing them again.

Behold - I give you the Unwritten Laws of Fanfiction
1. Thy Feedback Will be Scarce - No matter whether you're an unknown writer toiling in the tiny Barty the Bunny fandom, spinning grand tales of Barty's bittersweet love affair with Farmer Bob; or a well known fic author writing the most popular pairing in the Harry Potter fandom - You will not receive as much Feedback as you wish you would.

2. Thy Attention Will Lag - No matter how much you're attached to that epic storyline, at some point you will find yourself utterly unable to work on it because you have this tiny but persistent plot bunny hip-hopping through your head, carrying a little basket full of plot ideas that are completely unrelated to the story you wanted to work on. Also, if there is Due Dates involved (As for challenges, contests, etc.) the bunny will get bigger and carry his plot ideas loaded in a machine gun which he will blast at your head.

3. Perfection Shall Elude Thee - At some point - usually just after you've submitted a fic and have seen the first review which means you'd rather not delete and re-upload, you will notice a glaring error that you can't believe you missed when editing. This tiny error will mock you, and soon began to look as if it had highlighted itself in bright pink so that it can never be missed by anyone ever.

4. Thou Shalt Slash - No matter how much you resist, you will end up writing slash. Fic is like a drug. Missing scenes, drabbles, canon pairings - these are your gateway drug. These are a bit of pot passed around at parties while someone in the corner giggles and acts out those annoying "Interpretive Dance is MY Anti-Drug" (or whatever they say now)ads as he takes a drag. Pretty soon you start wondering about that couple that will never happen in canon though. Maybe two pretty boys who look at each other JUST SO on screen. Or two busty girls whose hatred is just so obviously a mask for lust, or just those two characters who never even have a moment on screen together, but who you feel in your heart are perfect together . . . . and that pot isn't enough anymore. You start going for the harder drugs. The AU's, the denial fics, the shippers havens . . . . until one day you'll sit up and realize you've just written male/male porn inspired by a Bible verse. (Not that I'm speaking from experience, of course.)

5. Thy Feedback Shall be Disproportionate - No matter how high the general quality of your work is, there is always those stories that are your babies, your favorites, the ones you poured the most effort into. Those stories will invariably not receive as much feedback as the one you wrote in a hour on a whim and thought was decent enough to get Beta'd and posted. They will also not get as much recognition or be read as much as the stories you put loads less effort into.

6. Thou Wilt be Clueless - At some point some reviewer will offer a review that quotes a line and praises you for the unique insight this line proves you have. You will have absolutely no idea what they're talking about, possibly not remember writing that particular line at all, and yet will still feel immeasurably proud of your insight. Because writers are, by nature, desperate and longing for praise.

7. Thy Ratings Shall Rise - If you start writing "G" rated fic, you will eventually write at least Pg-13. If you start writing PG-13, you will eventually write in the great Hall of Smut, where the NC-17 tales make their home. At some point, as you're describing a blow job possibly, you will look up and wonder, idly, what the hell your mother would say if she knew.

8. Thy Secret Shall Leak - Somehow, somewhere your internet identity and your real life identity will merge and meet in awkward ways. Someone you'd rather not have had a discussion about fic with will find out that you write it. If you are particularly lucky, this person will find out that you have written NC-17 stories for a series of children's books. You will receive extra points for this if the person who realizes this is a Fundamentalist Christian or Amish, or in some other way absolutely certain you're going to hell for writing it.

9. Thy Fandoms Shall Multiply - You may start with one fandom, one ship, one whatever - but it will grow. If you start in Buffy it will soon include Angel. And since Buffy and Angel featured Firefly actors and the Whedon, that will turn to Firefly. And then while picking up those Fray comics Whedon wrote, you'll maybe pick up some Sandman and start pondering how Lucifer is so infinitely slashable . . . It will grow. The fandoms will take residence in your head and mix and muddle until suddenly the idea of a Queer As Folk/Buffy crossover sounds like a wicked good idea. (Shh. I'm not contemplating that. I promise. I swear . . . okay I have the first five paragraphs done. Sue me.)

10. Thou Shalt Burn - Flames will come. Oh yes my child, they will come. Someone, their fingers alight in the holy fire of indignant bad grammar will declare that "U SUK!!11!!" or "I cant beleve u wrot this harry is not gay, u perv!1!!!" or something equally insightful. And despite the obvious fact that this person has the brain capacity of a lobotomized Beagle, you will, nonetheless, feel this strange aching pain and question the worth of every word you've ever put to paper. Because you are a writer. And writers are sad, sensitive little beings. Though we also have Livejournals and are capable of spewing great venom at will. Or, for some of us, at certain times of the month.


Thus have I written, thus it is. Truth, my children. Though I'm sure I forgot stuff and no one will read it anyway. Still, I amused myself and isn't that the most important thing? Isn't it?

I'm going to go eat jellybeans now.
Tags: funnies
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